12 Butts in Art History That Would Have Broken the Internet
Since a butt-loving artist has created a unique series of portraits by painting celebrities backsides, we think it’s time to shine light on one of the most underappreciated aspects in art history: all of the delicious BUTTS.
And so, with that, we present to you 12 of the most delightful butts in art history, ranked in order of Internet-breaking potential. But really, when it comes to butts, every butt is a winner.
Take a minute off from reading about how many ounces of hot oil they needed to make Kim’s butt shine like that, and give these historical butts some love.
1.“Adam et Eve,” Martin van Heemskerck (1550)
When you haven’t even gotten around to taking part in the Fall of Man, I guess there’s nothing to do but work on your glutes.
2.“Bathing,” Boris Kustodiev (1921)
This painting draws the definitive connection between high art and that pose that people are always doing in naked selfies.
3.“Charon Ferrying the Shades,” Pierre Subleyras (1735-40)
Is Charon the mythical boatman of Hades, who ferries souls across the rivers of the dead? Yes. Does that make his butt any less fantastic? No.
4.“At the Doctor’s,” Heinrich Zille (1858-1929)
This is the sassiest trip to a doctor’s office that I have ever even heard about.
5.“Salutat,” Thomas Eakins (1898)
Supposedly, this painting has something to do with wrestling? Sure, whatever, Eakins, you kook, you.
6.”Candaules King of Lydia Shews his Wife to Gyges,” William Etty (1820)
I don’t know enough about art history to officially call William Etty “one of the undisputed kings of the art butt,” but I’m still surprisingly confident in that assessment (get it? “Assessment”?)(Sorry.)
7.“The Wounded Philoctetes,” N. A. Abildgaard (1775)
You ever look at this stuff and think that maybe you were just born in the wrong era?
8.“Untitled,” Ignatiy Nivinskiy (1880-1933)
I think this is just one of the best butts I’ve seen in a while. I can’t describe what it is about it, but it’s just making me happy. Not even in a sexual way. It’s just an extremely joyful butt.
9.“Bather,” Pablo Picasso (1908)
When we break the human form down to its basic shapes, we find that we are mostly composed of awesome butt.
10.“Reclining Woman on Her Side,” Fernando Botero (2009)
OK, fine. The internet was around in 2009. But so were you! Why didn’t you tweet about this amazing butt? You’re just as guilty as anyone else here!
11.“David,” Michaelangelo (1501-04)
A classic for a reason, “David” is the first nude male adult butt that many of us ever see — and just like the first person you ever kiss, it retains a warm place in your heart forever because of that.
12.“The Fall of the Titans,” Cornelis van Haarlem (1588)
More like ”Butts of the Titans,” right, guys?…I’ll show myself out.